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“Living Happily Ever After” My Life & My Choices I am Living For Me XOXO

Its almost everyone woman to dream to get married and live happily ever after from you ages girls play dress up and pretend to walk down the aisle. I was one of those little girls always imaging how I look on my wedding day and wonder if I would ever find a husband. Flashforward to my current life and all those dreams and have turn into nightmares of kissing frogs hoping they would turn into a prince just my luck I got prince.

However, my fairytale ending has been a rollercoaster ride of long miserable uncomfortable flights, red tape with visas, heavy luggage, and long layovers in foreign countries and even after all of that I am still not 100% happy. I thought that getting married would someone how make my life happy like the people on TV and that has not happend.

To make a long story short I no longer want to be defined by ability to keep a man happy or about how many children I am willing to have with him. I have seen it many times before women give men their all and end up without nothing like my Grandma like to say “They don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out. Look at how Mary J husband did her cheated on her and was spending all of Mary J money on a young slut. How said that woman really loved her husband. Love is not everything for me anymore love can be a trap.

I am tried of constantly have to prove myself to people. I have to prove I am a good woman, I have to prove that I will be faithful, I have to allow my body to house a baby for a man that could leave me anytime. I have to look good, I have to have sex when he wants it, and I have to pretend like I am not mad when I am hurt or offend.

I never wanted to be a single, unwedded mother but, now at this age being a single unwedded mother would be more easier then being in the dating game for all this time. I wish I would of married young and had children like all of my friends. Oh no I wanted to be a career woman and go to college.

To bring my thoughts to and end which leads to my next question why is the American culture so fixed on the idea of women getting married and having babies. 50% of marriages end in divorces. At this point in the game I am chose to live my life for me and “DAMN” what anyone else think. I am following my own heart and going after my dreams. I am no longer putting my life on hold for anyone. Those same people you put your life on hold for will throw you out like trash when they are done using you.

That’s how I really feel and sorry to anyone who doesn’t like. Sorry correction I am not sorry.

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Dear: Tobi “It is True I really do Love You”

The 7,000 mile love story hasn’t been easy but, I would not change anything that I been through. I don’t really know how to express my love for him but, some of the ways I try is by supporting Tobi anyway I can. Yes were are from two different cultures and have many cultural issues we are working through.

However I will say that I knew when I made the choice to be with him I knew it would not be easy. I know that relationships are not easy and when it’s someone you love you can’t just walk away from the person.

Many people are saying that I am showboating which is true. What is the point of having a man if you can’t show off the love you have for each other. I got engaged to the Tobi less than a month of knowing him many said that is crazy and for me to be careful because, it could me a romance scam.

Well almost 5 years later we are still together and I never felt that he scammed me or took advantage of me. That is saying a lot because, I have been scammed and I have been taken advantage of before. I said all that to say I know what it feels like to be used and guess what I do not feel used by him I feel 100% loved by Tobi.

He has been my rock, my bestfriend, and confidante and he has helped me to reach my goals of becoming of a wife and mother. Of all the nice things he has done for what I liked most is when I told him I am ready for marriage and a family he did not run from me he embraced me.

So when people asked me why of all men I wanted to chose a man to marry from West Africa my response is I didn’t chose him he chose me. He asked me to marry him, He asked me to have his children, He asked me into his Youbra Tribe, He asked me to fly 7,000 miles to, He asked my parents if he could marry me and lastly, he asked me to meet his family in the village.

So in a nutshell this man was a man who came to me correct and gave me everything I asked for. In return I agreed to be his African-American Nubian Queen Black Goddess.

I am Tangela Evette Stephens-Alaba “Olori Alaba in my tribe. I am very happy and still am very much love with you so Tobi if you actually read my blogs you will see that you are always a “Hot Topic” in my life.

It is true your Dreams did come true you are married to a Black American who really loves you and it is not a game for me.

Lastly Thank You for not giving up on me during the times I acted like a Bitch. I am 100% American they let women be bitchy sometimes it’s a normal part of our culture for women rights to have rights. Which sometimes included the woman snapping and its not only when she is on her period. “LOL” The American woman sometimes have to be the head of her household and pay all the bills. The women in America have to work just as hard as a man and sometimes even harder to take care of their familes.

So please don’t be offend by what you see or seen on social media just understand no matter what has took place in the past I still love you and my family in West Africa.

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Hells Kitchen- Las Vegas “My White Wedding Dinner Celebration” at British Chef Gordon Ramsay Upscale Restaurant

If your a foodie and a professinal TV watcher like myself then I know you have heard of “Hells Kitchen” a top restaurant own and operated by TV Chef Gordon Ramsay. Let me the first to tell you that the food is very good and the eatery is very unique and pretty. What I liked most about the Hells Kitchen is it did not take long for us to be seated. The staff was real nice and professional and not only that my Shrimp Salad was good, the only thing I wanted was more shrimp.

My crew order the 6 course meal for about only $125 and you get a glass of wine included and the Louis Vutton Hennsey and Coke was $40 a drink or you could buy the whole bottle for a couple of benjamins. LOL

TI had a great time in Vegas and I plan to go back and eat at Hells Kitchen again. I loved Chef Ramsay show on TV he is a such an entertaining and enjoyable chef to watch on FOX network. Although I did not get met him I give his restaurant about 4.5 Stars on a 5 point scale. I needed more Shrimp in my Salad I paid $40 for that it was very tasty. Thank You also to my bridesmaid and cousin Tenika Booth and James Booth from Dallas for coming out to Las Vegas for “White Wedding Dinner at Hells Kitchen.”

This was the best moment in my life getting to eat my Hells Kitchen. I would like to become a Chef and open my own food truck.

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Miss Black Texas USA Pageant “Miss Black Beaumont USA” Tangela Stephens Formerly The Queen of Texas currently “The Queen of West Africa” I am the Brains & Beauty of my Brand and of my life.

Tangela Stephens Winner of Miss American Dream, Contestant in Miss Black Texas USA, Accepted into the Miss Texas USA National Pageant for 4 consecutive years, Accepted into The Miss United State Pageant, and Nominated as The Lifetime Armadillo Queen for The Mo-To-Go Non-Profit Organization Founded by Bobby Moore and The President Dr. Johnson Esq

Attend Prairie View A&M University Research Apprenticeship Program-Agriculture Dept of Research and Science, Prairie View A&M Dean List Student in Dept of Psychology, Graduate of Lamar University with a Minor in Communication with a Bachelors Degree in Applied Arts & Sciences.

I was a beauty queen an official Miss Black Texas USA contestant but, currently, I am a Queen in my tribe “The Youbra Tribe” in West Africa. What I learn from competing in beauty pageants is that beauty is within and it’s more then the texture of your hair, the size of your waist and bust or how well you walk and talk. Beauty is all about how confident you are in yourself and your beliefs that your a breath of fresh air within. We are all charming people in our on way because, GOD create us all from the human race that originated in the Motherland which is now the country of Africa. My platform as a Miss Texas contestant was philanthropy my mission was and still is creating a community center for people to enjoy.

Consequently, many people have been brainwashed by European Standards of beauty called “Eurocentrism” and sometimes don’t recognize the value of their own natural God given allure. The media may call certain non- Eurocentrism unattractive or unkept like Black People who wear their natural non chemical treated hair, extra weight like being full figured, and skin imperfections like birth marks. I want to admit that I was once brainwashed to believe that it was only one standard of pretty which was based Eurocentrism. I was lost but, now I am found.

More than a decade ago I have a dream to become the “Queen of Texas’ then go on to win the Miss Black Texas USA pageant. Although I did not win the Miss Black Texas USA pageant but, I still won at loving and believing in myself and that I could accomplish anything that I wanted achieve. All I can say is a dream is a journey with a lot of twist and turns but, I never stop having the courage that I could truly be a Queen in my every day life. Eventually after I compete in so many pageants to finally be nomatied the Winner of Miss Texas American Dream in Las Vegas as the Miss Texas I was very excited.

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